Math

The amount of upkeep required to maintain a healthy human body is mathematically impossible to do if you want to devote any of your time and attention to other things. Oh sure, I could make myself into the healthiest person with the nicest shape and the glossiest hair, but that would mean less time for reading or playing boggle or making origami out of credit card bills. There're just too many other things I want to do in life other than pilates and moisturizing.

By my calculation, when you see those extremely physically fit people walking around with insanely white teeth and a totally together outfit with a bag to die for, you can pretty much assume they spend most of their time on their appearance and not a lot of time on inner development. I'm just saying...mathematics is on my side. There is just no way to be both physically conditioned and mentally on top of things.

Example: have you watched Jeopardy lately? I mean the new episodes when the pop culture questions come up? You can't rely on things you learned in college if you want to ace Jeopardy, you have to keep up with technology and music and art and world events if you want to really make a showing on Jeop. How can you do that if your priority is freshly-manicured feet and no cellulite? It does not add up.